Puberty 5

Like Mitski,
I am Your Best American Girl,
who bets on losing dogs,
trying not to think that nothing matters
as I ride on through this hell.

It’s always a good day to fight the system,
but even the warmest colors are emptied by the sunset,
——because sometimes everything is boring,
everything but me,
everything but who I am this week.

Even if I’m nothing but a material girl,
I always have my love, mine all mine,
and can watch the weight of it
stop me from taking my bags
and leave to be swallowed by a castle in the sea.

And though I am no preacher’s daughter,
never the one that got away,
just wanting to dim the lights,
this feeling is just two weeks in December,
and one day I’ll smile like I mean it.